Guest perspectives

Communication[i]

Communication seems to be one of the main components of a successful stay with hosts. In this part of the report, some aspects of communication process between guests and hosts will be considered: knowledge of the English language; communication with hosts before applying for the Homes for Ukraine (HfU) programme; participation of guests in the hosts’ life (spending time together, traditions, leisure time, rules for co-living). We also asked participants to share their advice for Ukrainians and hosts based on their experience in the programme.

Ella was born in the Sumy region (Northern Ukraine) and before the start of the war she studied in Kyiv to become a dentist. In February 2022, she and her twin sister went to Poland, and then to Cyprus, where they worked in a hotel as animators with children. After a long search for hosts, a Polish family they met in Cyprus agreed to host them in the UK. For the first two months, everything was fine: they talked a lot with the hosts, established traditions of spending time together, drinking coffee and putting puzzles together. Unfortunately, the relationships with the hosts did not last long. After five months of co-living, Ella and her sister were asked to leave the house.

Language

Knowing the language of the country of residence is an important point of successful integration in general, as well as a crucial factor for building successful relationships with hosts.

‘First of all, you need to know English, it is necessary to learn it in advance. This immediately removes many questions. If you can't talk to a person because of a language barrier, it's very difficult. You can use a translator, but then your topics are limited to a small range of household-level topics. You can't communicate then! It was very important for our family and for the hosts that everyone could talk to each other.’ (Hanna, Knaresborough)

The majority of Ukrainians (11 out of 13) who took part in our study had some knowledge of English when they arrived at the UK: more than half of them spoke fluently, and the rest spoke little. Those respondents who knew English only a little or didn’t know English at all reported that they used an online translation app to communicate with hosts; they were also helped by relatives or friends with whom they had come.

Before Arrival in the UK

Finding hosts could take weeks or even months for some of our respondents, and several days for others. More than half of the participants (7 out of 13) reported that their first hosts were their only option. Some respondents received invitations from several potential hosts and had to make a choice; other participants began communicating with the first hosts who wrote to them and realised that they were completely satisfied with them and stopped further searches. Mostly, Ukrainians communicated with future hosts via Facebook or WhatsApp. In most cases (9 out of 13), hosts initiated a video call with guests before applying to the programme. The decision to apply for the programme often took respondents a few hours to decide.

The first stage of communication was characterized by general topics, when both guests and hosts tried to get to know each other: ‘It was a general conversation to learn about each other, to see what a person is like’, shared Roman from Hull. Guests and hosts exchanged photos and videos. Almost no one discussed the details of living together before arrival. Only two of our respondents reported that their future hosts sent them house rules or information about their daily routine. Sometimes the hosts sent guests photographs of the prepared rooms and were also interested in practical issues: whether the guests had allergies, whether they needed bedding, and so on. Only two of our respondents asked their future hosts before arrival how long it would be possible to stay with them.

Spending Time Together

Living together with hosts turned out well for most of our participants (11 out of 13): they were able to build friendly relationships, maintain contact even after leaving the HfU programme and they felt they could always turn to their former hosts for advice or help.

A distinctive feature of guests and hosts co-living was sharing of food. Regular dinners together, taking turns cooking, serving national dishes, or sharing lunches on weekends were mentioned by almost all respondents. Mostly, the hosts became the initiators of such culinary traditions. Joint meals helped to establish contact between all members of the household, and were also an excellent opportunity to discuss problems, plans, and get to know each other and the cultures of the two countries better.

‘I was personally very interested in living with sponsors! First, they are native speakers, and you communicate. They are also very friendly. Yes, we have different views on life, but that didn't matter. We had an interesting conversation every evening. I think it is a unique experience when you can live with an ordinary English family. I learned a lot from them’ (Taras, Sheffield)

‘We had weekly family meetings. We sat and talked, developed a plan for the week: what we plan to do, where to go, how they can help. We shared impressions. They shared their plans with us. (Nadia, York)

Sometimes hosts invited Ukrainian guests on joint trips or showed local attractions. Shared leisure time and the desire to celebrate holidays together are especially typical for hosts who host Ukrainians with children.

‘Once a week they invite us to go somewhere with the children, and then we eat together.’ (Sofia, Ulleskelf)

‘We travelled with them a lot. They showed me many places in England. They did a lot to help me to integrate faster.’ (Oksana, Hull)

Advice for Guests and Hosts

The need for open communication and honest discussion of plans and expectations were emphasised by many of our project participants when we asked them to share their recommendations for guests and hosts. The respondents told us that in many ways they had managed to maintain good relations with their hosts and not become a burden for them, thanks to their knowledge of English and regular communication, as well as discussion of cultural differences between Ukraine and England.

In this regard, the respondents mentioned 'British politeness', when hosts did not openly express their dissatisfaction or expectations, for fear of offending Ukrainian guests. At the same time, Ukrainians felt they were more open and straightforward in expressing their opinions and needs, which could sometimes shock hosts.

‘You need to step over your British politeness (because Ukrainians don't know what it is and they are not ready for it) and honestly tell what your plans and priorities are, why you decided to be a sponsor and how long you can do it’ (Roman, Hull)

‘Ukrainians say what they think, unlike the British. For many British people, this may seem rude, impolite, but this is not because we want to offend someone, but because it is easier for us to communicate. The British are not obliged to behave like this, but if they know that this is so, then perhaps they will perceive openness differently’ (Hanna, Knaresborough)

Knowing these cultural distinctions could help to establish more effective communication, as well as avoid misunderstandings between guests and hosts.

In their recommendations to compatriots who participate in the HfU programme, respondents emphasised the need to thank the British, who so hospitably opened their doors to strangers from Ukraine. Be prepared for difficulties, rely on yourself, establish relationships with the owners of the house and, if possible, help them - these are the main tips from the research participants for the Ukrainians who are considering taking part in the ‘Homes for Ukraine’ scheme.